A madison race goes above and very far beyond my skillset, so why not do a madison cyclo-cross race… just to really test out how much I have to learn?
It was an interesting event to say the least: very well organised at the Herne Hill Velodrome and such a wonderfully creative way to spend New Year’s Day – previously known as ‘a day of writhing around regretting your poor life choices while nursing the first hangover of the year’.
You won’t believe it when I tell you this, but yes, I was yet again ill coming into this and hadn’t entered because I didn’t think I’d be well enough. Somewhere between the sofa, the empty roads, and my bed I had caught a stomach bug. If someone could locate my immune system and send back home one would be ever so grateful…
Anyway, cue the night before and I suddenly felt daring, messaging my race partner – Rachel and here we are, telling a story about how the only thing I seem to learn in CX is how to fall of my bike… What wonderful, fulfilling mud baths were had!
As it was a ‘mixed’ event we had to start and race surrounded by the towering, gangly and scary looking men. I took the first stint - I actually don’t know why, because although I nailed the clip in, I was so intimidated by everyone around me that I sort of got going and eased off to allow them to go past me. Why you might ask? When I have that answer, I’ll let you all know via an emergency BBC broadcast.
Off I toddled, starting on the flat, crossing the velodrome and straight down into a swamp. Tried riding it – got stuck, fell off and ran that section for the rest of the race, with mud squelching around between my toes … niiiiice.
From there, I don’t remember a huge amount of the route because I spent most of it praying that I wouldn’t hit trees, cursing that I couldn’t clip in or lying on the floor. So here’s something about the more interesting parts of the circuit.
Somewhere along the lines we reached a ‘shite, I’m not going to get up that’ hill or two. Turns out I am waaaaay quicker at running than I am slugging up those hills and maybe I should just run the whole circuit… probably would have been quicker to be honest – ha!
There were some stairs – to run up of course, before a few rolling humps, taking you back round to cross the velodrome again and back into the centre on the grass – which then led you to a lovely little hurdle. I had no issue dismounting and jumping the hurdle, but the first time I tried to remount I thought ‘Oh yes, I remember, I’ve practised this! I can remount properly – run, hop on, ride off!’. Well, if I ever tell you that, it’s a lie. I CAN NOT REMOUNT!
I ran, I hopped, and I threw myself so far over the bike that I fell off the other side… in front of everyone. If I didn’t laugh, I’d have cried with embarrassment. I didn’t attempt that again, I just pulled myself to the side of the course and got on like I would if I was popping to the shops.
I did, however, slip out on a corner and save it with a wee dab of my foot… I have no idea where that reaction speed came from, and I’ll probably never see it again.
On the plus side, on the unbelievably wet, slippery mud, I sort of glided over the top because I’m small. Or was it because I was going so slowly? Anyway, bigger, taller, heavier riders were sinking in the gloop and sliding out a lot more than me, so there!
After each lap, we would ‘madison sling’ our partner into the race for their turn (more of a cheeky high five for us newbies tbh). I have to say, full gas for a lap and then a rest – absolutely no complaints from me, good design. I think we did about four laps each. We were lapped, we were ridden into by people, and I spent every lap worrying that I was in the way and apologising whenever I could hear people coming up behind me. BUT it was brilliant fun!
I finished the day as the winter evening sun set with a cosy hot choccie from the café and a lovely Sainsbury’s meal deal on the way home - because my prep brain was on strike. Starting 2022 as I mean to go on aye.
Happy New Year ya filthy animals <3
Ride Bikes, eat cake, be happy
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